I grew up in Sweden. Always the smallest, always the brownest, always a girl. If I did something out of the ordinary (sometimes positive, sometimes negative) I would always be downgraded to only that. In a dirty, abusive, and sometimes physical way; “good for a brownie”, “good for a girl” thematic.
Racism is real. The structures of racism are still here and humans lose their life because of it daily. We can and should not look away from hate crimes of any sort. That’s not what I’m asking when I want to encourage you to not jump into the pit anymore.
BACK TO SCHOOL
Can I ask you to please think back to the schoolyard? Remember how there was always that one kid, more singled out than others, and then on the other side another kid, not rarely very unreachable, bullying the first kid around in the worst possible way.
And then it was the rest and the grown-ups, mostly just trying to survive the day. Most of the time in silence, looking away — out of fear of becoming the next one the bully decides to single out and thereby becoming excluded by the group.
FEAR OF REJECTION
Being excluded from the group is one of the oldest fears humans have, as it back at the beginning of our time would mean death. Research point to that long life and good health correlates with strong relationships. Meaning statistics show, lonely people die younger.
The fear of rejection is therefore deeply rooted in all of us and in our current, inhumane social structure, it’s the very glue that keeps it together.
And it only works because no one feels they are good enough, meaning we are all living under the impression we could be the next “victim” pushed out of the group.
This is a small, graspable view, that almost every single one of us recognize. What many of us have yet not realized is that exactly that scenario is being reproduced in our society as a whole. In organizations, businesses, and politics.
IT’S TIME TO STOP THE BULLY
You might say, OK, but that’s what I am doing when I am raising my voice against racism.
When we talk about the bully as a human, it actually needs our support. It’s cheesy and hard, but love is and always will be the answer. Love for the victim of course, but also for the perpetrator.
IF YOU CAN’T SHOW LOVE, TRY CURIOSITY
Just listen. See what made this person reach the place they did. In many cases, we will find pain and hurt which somewhere turned into anger and hate. Lonely people living in fear. They give out what they have inside. Nothing comes from nothing.
And then we have the big one, our society, which is basically bullying all of us. No one is enough in this structure.
THE REVOLUTION IS AN INSIDE JOB
It’s not easy. I know. As a minority woman, I had many glass ceilings over my head.
Always being undervalued. Always representing my entire minority. Keeping me from living my true identity and being authentic for very long. And the fear of being hurt by words or even physical.
But here is the thing. I can’t keep other people from doing things. A racist might want to attack and hurt me, today on the street, but if I let the possibility of that influence my life too much I am being controlled by it and then I am not free. Playing a game with my own life, the greatest gift I have at stake.
HOW TO ACTUALLY END INEQUALITY?
The most effective way to push for change is living it.
Staying away from, and saying no to patterns, structures, and ideas — that don’t serve us anymore.
Meaning; that being against something will not force change. It actually keeps the idea alive and well and, in some cases, even gives it the air it needs to grow.
You can do one thing. Work on yourself.
Mainly on your self-awareness and your self-worth as these are our main offenders.
The idea of us all, not being enough,
the way the force of all forces created us;
is absurd. Let it go. Please.
YOU ARE ENOUGH
YOU ARE AMAZING
YOU HAVE SPECIAL GIFTS OUR PLANET NEEDS
Self-care is crucial, we can only be of service if we have the power to give. Charge your battery.
Use your voice, share your limits and boundaries. Creation starts with the word being put out there.
Spoil nice people — let’s make it cool to be kind
Unfollow anything that makes you feel bad
It’s your life. In this body, you only got one shot — be the boss of it
Share things we want more of, not things we dislike
I really feel that the future of our species depends on that.
FINITE GAMES CAN BE FUN BUT LIFE IS AN INFINITE ONE
Soccer is fun, but in all finite games there are losers and there are winners. We are under the illusion that life is a finite game. Again, fear is what keeps that illusion maintained.
Life is actually an infinite game where we, sometimes with a lot of work, mostly reprogramming BS we learned from when we were children, set our own limits.
Compete with yourself and you will always win.
And when you win, we all win.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Louise Harms - Self Awareness & Mindfulness Mentor
Louise is a visionary and game-changer ready to end all forms of inequality. First, inside. And then outside. She believes in a world where;
we are all winners
we all have a value, nature has appointed to us
and that all this comparing has made us focus on finite games when life is an infinite one - where each and every one of us, sets our own limits
Get ready to have your mind blown and change the current system.